1. These Saint Laurent boots.
How many charm bracelets can you sew onto your shoelaces?
2. These Alexander McQueen boots.
These are basically studded leather socks with heels shoved into a metal toe covering. And they’re amazing.
3. These Chanel boots.
Another perplexing layering technique. Is this an over-the-knee white leather sock worn under oversized boots with Chanel purse straps? I don’t know but WWD called these “an instant classic.”
4. These Chanel boots.
GET THEM IN TAN!!!
5. These maned Loewe boots.
Makes cleaning the baseboards easier.
6. These Miu Miu golashes.
7. These Miu Miu Mary Jane golashes.
8. These Vivienne Westwood pumps.
Falling down is for winners.
9. These Vivienne Westwood boots.
For when it’s colder out.
10. These Vivienne Westwood booties with black hair sticking out the top.
11. These striped Givenchy mid-calf boots.
With snakeskin that mimics a bee’s coloring. Yes!
12. These Valentin Yudashkin peep toe fur boots.
Peep toe. Fur boots.
13. These open-toed booties with wings.
Is this supposed to make the calves look slimmer?
14. These sandals with the chiffon soles.
Chiffon is exactly the kind of durable fabric that’s meant to be walked on.
15. These open-toed Kenzo booties with eyes on them.
Do they make more or less sense with the pants? I can’t decide.
16. These Rochas pumps.
New York Times fashion critic Eric Wilson tweeted that he’s “not sure about these cramped Rochas pumps.” I’m not either — why make a stiletto even more uncomfortable-looking?